Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
