We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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