So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just found a bag of teeth...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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