from now on my penis is your penis
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
