that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
