I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
