I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
