You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
