bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pants are for mortals
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
