i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
