I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
