I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
