rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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