My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
