I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
