omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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