I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize