Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
