i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
