I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
