do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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