Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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