When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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