I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
