Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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