I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
