she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And then my night got REAL pukey
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
