It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
