rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
