Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
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Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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