i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
