i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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