i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Im part way to drunk.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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