I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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