I wanna passion pit in your ass
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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