i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
