I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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