Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
In America we eat man semen.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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