I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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