hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
