Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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