i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
