he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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