I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
