There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
