it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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