I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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