hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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