Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
