ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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