If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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