I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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