I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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