Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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