is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
