You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
