I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
