Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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