it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
