Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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