dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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